The Miami Dolphins just face-planted to 2-7 and are apparently speed-running the “massive rebuild” playbook.

New GM after Chris Grier? Check. Mike McDaniel not expected back in 2026? Check. Rumors that everyone not bolted to the floor is available at the NFL trade deadline? You bet. And if you think Jerry Jones shouldn’t be sniffing around, Michael Irvin would like a word.

Irvin all but gift-wrapped the plan.

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“All this talk about the Dallas Cowboys in the market for a trade. When I heard Bradley Chubb’s only gonna be making a million, I said ‘Uh Oh,’ a new GM, Cowboys will be poking around to see what kind of deal they can get,” he said.

Translation? Miami’s turning the lights on at the pawn shop, and Jerry should be first in line with store credit.

Bradley Chubb is the headline add because, yes, “difference-maker” is the correct label. Pair him with Dante Fowler Jr. and Osa Odighizuwa and opposing quarterbacks will start practicing yoga breathing techniques by Wednesday.

But Chubb isn’t the only aisle worth browsing if Miami truly slaps “Make Offer” tags on the roster.

Safety Minkah Fitzpatrick (yes, it’s ambitious, calm down), edge rusher Jaelan Phillips, and linebacker Jordyn Brooks would all raise the Cowboys’ defensive ceiling from “sturdy” to “nasty.” Sure, Phillips has had injury concerns, but rolling the dice on elite traits beats rolling with “hope and vibes” in January.

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The only adult question here is cost.

Fitzpatrick and Chubb would require actual draft capital and real money, which means a stern lecture from Cap Space Twitter. Phillips and Brooks land in the “savvy gamble” bucket if the bidding doesn’t get silly. But let’s not pretend the NFC is unwinnable or that the Cowboys should keep collecting “almost” seasons like commemorative plates.

Miami’s open for business. Dallas needs difference-makers. Michael Irvin already drew the map. Your move, Jerry. Bring a phone, a second-rounder, and maybe a pen to sign the receipt.