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A unicorn is usually defined as “a mythical animal generally depicted with the body and head of a horse with long flowing mane and tail and a single often spiraled horn in the middle of the forehead.”

Or, they could’ve just gone with “A unicorn is Shohei Ohtani.”

In this space, we’re going to discuss (and try to analyze) what mind-boggling efforts and accomplishments the Los Angeles Angels’ two-way star puts together on a week-to-week basis — because it’s the right thing to do.

Yes, we must highlight the greatness that is unfolding before our eyes. The world doesn’t deserve Shohei Ohtani, but he somehow exists — and we should be talking about him as much as possible.

What did Shohei Ohtani do this time? Shut down the potent Astros offense

Ohtani has had quite the successful start to the season on the pitching side of things, delivering a 2.10 ERA with 40 strikeouts in 25.2 innings.

His best start of the season, however, came against the Houston Astros at Minute Maid Park. 

Ohtani pitched seven innings of four-hit, one-run, one-walk, 10-strikeout ball. Recall, Ohtani has been effectively wild this season — his WHIP stands at 1.21, and this is an Astros team that doesn’t strike out (they’re 29th in MLB in that regard) and is second in runs scored and first in batting average — and Ohtani dominated them.

Oh, and Ohtani also had a hit in the game, if you’re into that sort of thing.

The Angels followed up Ohtani’s excellent start by batting him leadoff on Wednesday against the Astros. Note the historical nature of this:

What did Shohei Ohtani do this time? Play the outfield lol

I don’t know how you can witness this and not laugh. It’s literally sh** like this that makes Ohtani not seem real.

After seven innings, after throwing 88 pitches, after three at-bats, Ohtani — with Joe Maddon wanting to get him another chance at the plate — played an inning in right field.

It seems simplistic, I know. We see players playing out of position all the time in baseball, especially when there’s a blowout going on. But this game was tied when Ohtani took to the outfield.

The Angels lost, their ragged bullpen getting hammered at the worst time, but it was a game that showcased Shohei for the cheat code he is as few others have.

What did Shohei Ohtani do this time? Somehow casually send this pitch over the Green Monster

It is not easy to hit a home run in left field at Fenway Park, mainly because of the legendary wall that stands there known affectionately as the Green Monster.

So, of course, on a Friday evening game, MLB’s resident unicorn did this:

Like, look where that pitch was located, look at Ohtani’s swing, and look where the pitch landed. C’mon!

Ohtani is now tied for third (or second, considering there’s a tie for first place too) in MLB with 11 home runs.

What did Shohei Ohtani do this time? Get traded for by Kevin Durant in MLB The Show

Kevin Durant is similar to Shohei Ohtani in that he does things that aren’t supposed to be possible. A near-seven-foot-tall human shouldn’t be able to move and score the way Durant does on the hardwood, yet here we are.

From one unicorn to another, real recognize real:

Yes, Mike Trout seems like a shoo-in to win AL MVP every season, but Ohtani will be hard to ignore in that conversation if he stays healthy and keeps this kind of two-way play up — especially at +625 odds (but the odds will begin to shrink, so better get in now).