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Paul Klee: What happens when Todd Helton, Quavo and JoJo Siwa walk into Coors Field? Colorado and Von Miller steal the All-Star show

Jul. 11—DENVER — At a certain age, golf is inevitable. And on behalf of hackers everywhere, those who schedule a quick 9 around sleep schedules, let’s welcome Von Miller to the coolest club around.

Golf-obsessed Dads.

“I’m addicted now,” the Broncos star came clean to me on Sunday. “I got the bug, as they say.”

Now this we gotta see.

“He needs to stop swinging so hard, especially [hitting] driver,” said his golf coach, Broncos BFF Brandon McManus, a 3 handicap on the sticks, who joined Miller in the Celebrity Softball Game that came with the MLB All-Star Game at Coors Field. “The other clubs have a good tempo. It’s the hardest game in the world. I think he’s learning that now.”

Hey, this All-Star Game thing is pretty cool — and Colorado’s stars are stealing the show. Shoot, Colorado’s own Derrick White was named MVP of the Celebrity Softball Game. Pressure’s on Trevor Story (Home Run Derby on Monday) and German Marquez (All-Star Game Tuesday) to carry our flag like it’s our Olympic torch. Denver’s OneRepublic played a set at Coors on Sunday, the first live music heard by a 40,000 people in 15 months. They’re a big deal.

They might not as big of a deal as JoJo Siwa. Yeah, I had never heard of her either. Talk about aging yourself, because let me tell about the following generated by a teenager with 941 million views on YouTube. As she cruised LoDo like Michael Jackson or something, this kind of following: “WE LOOOVE YOUUU, JOJOOO!”

Celebrity softball coach Todd Helton didn’t even get that reception, and his No. 17 is retired in the dang building. Or rapper Quavo, or even Captain America Anthony MacKie. JoJo Siwa did.

“Honestly, I was most excited to see Von,” said Derrick White, the pride of Legend High, UCCS and CU Boulder. D-White bombed a home run and was mobbed at home plate by Dancing Von. Bucket-list stuff for a Colorado guy.

“I spent a lot of time in this stadium (as a kid),” White said.

I confirmed through Derrick, a Broncos diehard, and the shrieks of 40,000-plus at the celebrity game, one Denver star still shines brightest.

This is still Von’s City. No doubt about it.

And in two to three weeks he’s going to enter a form of free agency for which no man is no prepared: Fatherhood. Von’s going to be a Dad, and says he has a gameplan. Forget the swing tips. Here’s a pro tip for the already proud father-to-be: Babies don’t do game plans. They call audibles.

“I want to have a similar relationship with my son that my dad had with me. My dad never missed a football game, took me hunting and fishing my whole entire life. Gave me advice,” Miller said. “I’ve always known what it’s like to have a leader and dominant source in my life to guide me. I want to be the same way with my son.”

The city of Denver has moved way past the “wow, I can’t believe we’re hosting the All-Star Game” feeling that expired in the 90s. Now it’s in the “hope they give us a good show” era.

You know, the Calirado era. And baseball’s All-Stars are going to put on an awesome show. They’re like the rest of us, probably, looking forward more to the Derby than the game itself.

“They might hit one out-out [of the ballpark],” ex-NL West outfielder Hunter Pence said.

It’s the “most-hyped home run Derby in a long time,” Pence says. Story’s pick to park one where the players are parked is Mets slugger Pete Alonso. Of all folks, Story would know.

“No humidor,” reminded Story, whose Home Run Derby appearance is probably going to be a curtain call since he’s a trade deadline asset.

The next major event in this city needs to be a championship parade. Twenty years since a non-Broncos celebration at Civic Center Park is way too long. Two of the men who may (or may not!) serve as parade marshals played softball Sunday too. Nuggets swingman Will Barton can opt out of his Denver contract and likely make more money elsewhere. Avalanche goalie Philipp Grubauer is about to get paid-paid as a Vezina finalist and pending free agent.

What’s “Thrill” going to be doing next season?”

“Playing in the NBA,” he said.

Come on, give me something. Convince my bosses I’m digging for the juicy stuff this week. What’s important to you in upcoming contract negotiations?

“Being appreciated. The team knowing my value,” Barton said. “Of course, an important role. Just the right situation. Winning.”

Is “Grubi” going to re-sign with the Avalanche?

“I would love to stay in Denver. Denver has become home,” the goalie said. “I love the team and love the organization, so it would be nice to work something out.”

The way the local stars showed out on the first day of All-Star Game festivities, might not be a bad idea to throw $5 on Trevor Story in the Derby. Starting to sense a Colorado trend here.

“I was in Vegas last night, so I just flew in this morning,” Von said.

That will change with fatherhood. But it’s still good to be Von and when the kid gets here it’s about to get even better. Golf game’s going to take a hit, though.

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