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We Texans can’t bet on a Rangers game, but we may be able to soon carry a .44 Magnum to watch our kids’ soccer games.

As the opportunity to bet on sports grows like untrimmed, prosperous vines over America, Texas remains true to its Southern Baptist roots.

There shall be no drinking before noon on Sundays … unless it’s a mimosa in a restaurant.

There shall be no wagering on sports … unless it’s a horse race.

There shall be no wagering on games … unless it’s a scratch off lottery ticket.

We may not be puritans, but you can’t shake what got us to America in the first place — the unyielding need to repress what we want to do so we can feel better ourselves against the Christian dogma.

That and the people in charge are surely enjoying a little love on the side from our brothers and sisters across our borders to make sure Texans can only bet in the pits of Louisiana, Arkansas, Oklahoma, New Mexico, and most every other place on this planet.

Alas, if you hope to go to a casino in Texas any time soon, or bet on the Dallas Mavericks game against the L.A. Lakers from the American Airlines Center, take your money elsewhere.

Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick and his moral police have turned all of Texas into the Alamo, only they are not staving off Santa Anna but rather Jerry Jones and the plague that is (widespread) legalized betting.

Envision our Lieutenant Dan wearing his little coonskin cap outside of the capital building in Austin, telling the lobbyists from the Las Vegas Sands casino, “You may all go to Hell, and I will go to Texas.”

We all know it didn’t work out for Mr. Crockett in San Antonio, and this fight against gambling will end the same way for Lt. Dan. He’s winning battles in a losing war.

The 2021 legislative session is nearing its tragic conclusion, and while we don’t know if our lights and heat will be on, we will sleep better knowing at least gambling won’t be available to Texans, either.

It doesn’t matter if you like it or not, but legalized sports betting and casinos will eventually return to Texas, right after Mr. Patrick leaves office, which currently is projected to be the year 3046.

The end of the Texas legislative session is May 31, and despite the efforts of the Las Vegas Sands Corporation, Jerry Jones and some others, the state of gambling in this state will remain unchanged for another two years.

Thanks mainly to the lobbying efforts of the casinos in Louisiana and Oklahoma, and The Patrick Boys, Texans will not have the chance to vote on the opportunity if they want to have gaming.

Bills to sponsor what would essentially be the allowance of casinos and legalized sports betting are expected to not make it this time.

“Texas House Joint Resolution 133” is sponsored by three Republicans and one Democrat. And, also, the Las Vegas Sands Corporation.

The hope is to build a few resort-type casinos.

Fighting this bill remain the likes of the Chickasaw Nation, which own and operate the largest casino the world, WinStar. Where do most of the patrons who invest in WinStar’s games reside? Texas.

WinStar owns and operates Global Gaming Solutions, which owns and operates LoneStar Park in Grand Prairie.

So just in case the gaming laws in Texas change, it has a place already built to put in slot machines, craps tables and betting windows to take your investments.

All of the lobbying money on both sides has made the movement on gaming a sloth’s pace.

The only two casinos that operate in Texas are on Native American reservations in Eagle Pass and Livingston, and neither offers that much in terms of variety.

Meanwhile, the rest of the country either has it, or is passing it. Currently there are 25 states that permit legalized sports betting, or plan to do so. Five other states are moving in that direction.

In Illinois, laws allow the Chicago Cubs to have a sports book at Wrigley Field, no different than what has existed in venues all over Europe for decades.

If you live in Texas, you could potentially drive to Arkansas or New Mexico to bet on games. Louisiana has passed measures to allow sports betting, and Oklahoma remains in flux on this issue, with surprising opposition.

It’s just more millions to billions of dollars leaving Texas to be spent in neighboring states.

Other than just the Las Vegas Sands Corp., and betting platforms, are the likes of the Dallas Cowboys, Dallas Stars, FC Dallas, Texas Rangers and Dallas Mavericks which are the anchors to the “Sports Betting Alliance.”

This is a concentrated lobbying effort to permit legalized sports wagering.

Now that pro sports leagues have come out of the closet to embrace gambling, and its millions, the teams want their cut.

Jerry Jones would certainly want a sports book at AT&T Stadium.

“Unregulated and illegal sports gambling is already taking place in the State of Texas. We believe Texans should be given the right to vote on whether they want to enact legal sports wagering,” Cowboys executive vice president Charlotte Jones said in a statement.

“Legalized sports betting would regulate the industry and generate hundreds of millions of dollars of new revenue for the state which will help fund critical programs without raising taxes.”

The only three states that aren’t even discussing this issue are Idaho, Wisconsin and Utah.

As we have seen all over the nation, regulated sports gambling is growing and it will eventually come to Texas. Patrick has to leave office first.

Of course, for gamblers it could be worse than Texas. You could live in Utah.

Because when it comes to repression, the Southern Baptists simply can’t compete with the Mormons.